Article written by Indigo Jamee Eriksen

This January the municipal government in San Cristobal turned into the PRI machine again. The PRI ran on a platform of "reclaiming" San Cristobal which, evidently, means out with the increasing immigration of indigenous people into the city, out with the foreign and Mexican activists and the hippie artesanos and musicians that come along with them, out with indigenous artesanos too, out with bars and night life and safe spaces for people to go to at night and in with more familiar things like repressive government.

First the PRI kicked out the street vendors, most of which are indigenous people selling their wares. Forcing the people off the streets means they have no place to sell their goods and no way to earn money for food, or anything else. Then, citing a 1999 clause that is on the books of Chiapas law but was never enforced, the government began closing all establishments selling alcohol within a short distance  of public buildings, schools, and churches. Well, here in San Cristobal that means just about everywhere. This put more than 200 families out of work.  So the musicians and workers had protests and hunger strikes. To my surprise the government agreed to let the bars reopen.
 
A few nights ago I went to support my friends playing at one local bar, El Circo. My friend, a permaculture activist from Guatemala, was visiting San Cristobal so we invited him to come along. When we arrived my friend was standing outside the bar and told me that the bouncer told him he needed a reservation to enter. That`s crazy, I said. But when my friend tried to come in the bouncer wouldn`t let him. The bouncer told my friend not to be mad at him, he didn`t like his job, but those were the rules of the boss.
 
When my friend told me what happened I was very angry. I offered to leave but my friend said no, he had heard that San Cristobal was like this. So we stayed but I was still angry. The next day I went to talk to the owner of El Circo. I explained what had happened, using my sweet girl attitude which is sometimes more effective than the pissed off mother I was holding inside. The dueño told me that the bouncers are told not to let people in who look bad, or behave bad, and so my friend must have been there before and gotten out of hand. Or wasn't he drinking when he tried to come in? Or something, surely, was wrong with him (other than the fact that he is indigenous maya of course). No, I said, he was fine, completely tranquilo. At this point the waning attention of the boss ran out and my interview came to a close.
 
And I was and am still angry. And I wonder what to do with myself. I was all set to organize a protest against Circo, but then I would be organizing a protest against a lot of people who are not racist and really need their jobs. Most of my friends say to me, well Indigo, didn`t you know it was like that? No. I did not know. I am a little white girl who doesn`t get racist treatment because I come from my own pretty messed up country that everyone else wants to be a part of and because I am a member of an oppressive group that everyone wants to be a part of and so, no, I didn't know El Circo was racist.
 
I am also angry because I marched alongside that boss of Circo. Because I said I am part of this group and I am in solidarity with them and ¿Que queremos? ¡Trabajar! what do WE want? To work! I am angry because I am stupid. But mostly I am angry because other people are way more stupid than me.
 
So here are some questions I am dealing with today. What is my role as a member of the oppressors? Life, as I am learning, is pretty damn complicated. I am thinking about the US during the civil rights movement. I am thinking of those white kids with black friends and I am thinking about what they did. I am thinking of the US today and all the racism that exists. I am thinking of San Cristobal and all the racism here. I am thinking of that book of essays by feminists of color and how reading that showed me I have so much to learn and how I felt so lost and angry and frustrated and responsible. I am thinking about how feeling lost and angry and frustrated and responsible amount to about a pile of nothing and I must transform my feelings into thoughts and then into actions. I am also thinking that mostly I must open myself up to forgiveness and love and compassion, both for me and from me. Because what are we fighting for? A better world. A world where all worlds fit. But not the racist ones. Right?